Two things ran the show this week: a shooting war near the Strait of Hormuz and a wall of central bank noise. Weekend US strikes on Iran and a string of tanker scares kept oil bid and traders on edge, so most assets spent the early days chopping around headlines instead of picking a direction. Then Friday arrived and rewrote the whole story. A blockbuster US jobs report landed way above forecasts, and under the new inverted Fed regime a hot labor print reads as hawkish, so the dollar bolted higher before fading. Gold got whipsawed by inflation fears pulling one way and soft labor data pulling the other. Oil finished near the top, while stocks, Bitcoin, and the risk-sensitive currencies all danced to the same tune. Here is how each corner of the market handled a stretch that had a little bit of everything.