Quick and Wacky Predictions for 2014

It’s that time of the year, folks! Last year we laughed ourselves off with our ridiculous predictions about the “Pyongyang Style” and the iPhone 6S. Check out which out-of-this-world predictions made the cut this year!

Year of the Dollar

This one is almost a no-brainer. For one thing, the FOMC has finally pulled the trigger on its tapering plans with potential Fed head Janet Yellen supporting the move. Not only that, but we’re also seeing better economic growth prospects in the U.S., as well as a budget deal from U.S. policymakers WITHOUT an absurd, drawn-out battle (crossing our fingers).  If the economic situation continues to improve, it would most likely bring in further investment to the U.S., and the need to purchase more Greenbacks.

Of course, dark horse events to derail positive growth are still lurking. Policy makers could delay the details of the budget deal like they’re haggling for their lives, the Fed could be mobbed by people from Wall Street who want more QE, and global risk appetite could also weigh on the Greenback.

Negative deposit rates for the euro zone?

Ben Bernanke has popularized the phrase “keeping interest rates low for the foreseeable future” while Mark Carney brought the term “forward guidance” to mainstream. It’s only a matter of time before Mario Draghi sets his own trend and starts charging banks to keep money with the ECB…Yikes! If this happens, Europeans institutions may actually put more cash into the economy, which would hopefully spur further growth and improvement in Europe.  We’ll believe it when we see it, but for now this story throws in another argument for potential euro strength in 2014.

The price of Bitcoins to reach $1 million/BTC (….or $0/BTC)????

What bubble?! We don’t know where the value of bitcoin and other digital currencies will go next, but we predict it’ll be a fun ride to get there!  One of  our “conspiracy theories” is that China’s recent ban on financial institutions using bitcoins is actually a strategy for the Chinese to buy low and sell high. Once they have accumulated a pretty good stash of BTC, they’ll clone popular figures like Warren Buffett, Jennifer Lawrence, and Chuck Norris to make them publicly declare support for bitcoins.  A fiendish, but brilliant plan…why didn’t we think of it first?!

AUD/USD will reach .8000 and BOJ’s Kuroda will become the next “Helicopter Ben”

Did you really think that the “race to debase” was over? The RBA will probably keep cutting its rates until AUD/USD reaches .8000 George Soros takes profit on his billion-dollar AUD short–btw, can someone please call up George and ask where his take profit is?

Kuroda will most likely keep on jawboning and pumping in stimulus until he earns his reputation as the next “Helicopter Ben.” Except he’ll have to get more creative with his nickname like “Bullet Train Kuroda”; doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Helicopter Ben,” does it?

Enough about the markets! Check out these other wacky pop culture predictions made by the FX-Men, just because it’s fun! Bonus points if you could guess who made them!

 1. Team KimYe will have another child. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will reclaim the spotlight by giving baby North West a brother or sister. They will name their second child “Wild Wild West.”

2. A Bernanke biopic will be made. A biographical movie about Bernanke’s time at the Fed will be in the works, and now that Ol’ Big Ben will have a lot of time on his hands in retirement, he’ll have a big say on how it’s made. He’ll probably get Stanley Tucci to portray him in the film, but he’ll ask for and perform in his own action scenes.  We see him jumping out of a helicopter while makin’ it rain over Wall Street as an EPIC interpretation of his time at the Fed!

3. Smart glasses will be THE gadget of the year. Why get a smart phone when you can operate face recognition, camera, Google, and social media apps hands-free, with the blink of an eye? Unfortunately, that means more awkward moments on the train as more people mutter Facebook or Twitter updates with pics of their dog in Christmas sweaters or detailing their workout of the day.

4. Miley Cyrus will find a new man. After getting married to a country music super producer, Miley will get off her wrecking ball, put some clothes on in her videos and will make dance music with an actual full set of lyrics.  Unfortunately, the twerking won’t stop.

5. Going to outer space will be mainstream. If we see $1M/BTC, we think space travel for crypto-currency geeks and fan boys will become as ubiquitous as a weekly binge on the latest food fad (what happened to the cronut?).  Who’s ready for an influx of Instagram and Snapchat selfies from hipsters posing on Mars and the Moon?

There ya have it, folks! These are some of our out-of-the-world, and completely ridiculous  predictions for 2014, but we’re curious to find out your thoughts on forex or pop culture predictions.  Leave your thoughts in the comment boxes below and check out our poll!

The Aussie got the most votes in last year’s poll (26.42%), followed by the pound (23.11%), of who will gain the most value against the Greenback in 2013…who do you think the big winner will be for 2014?

 

  • vi

    Hi Sir,
    I am a newbie. I don’t understand why tapering asset purchases will lead to higher borrowing costs for consumers and businesses?
    Can you please help me to explain it? Thanks a lot!!

    • Shakapips

      Hi vi, im not exactly an expert on this but , basically QE is the FED injecting free money into the economy.

      With tapering the money well dries up and institutions will make borrowing more difficult since the money supply is lower.

  • CS

    Well, can I suggest a name for Gov Kuroda? Since you call him the Bullet Train Kuroda, I suggest “Shinkansen Kuroda”, might be apt when starts flooding the markets again with JPY.

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